Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF The Light Pierces Bone

Flash Fiction Fridays: The Light Pierces Bone

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Garrett Cook here. Efe Tusder approached me on Reddit. Self-published Bizarro guy. He was patient as I looked through his pieces, which I found surging with both emotion and outsider style, but not necessarily right. He was patient and polite as I sifted through about a dozen stories to find […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF My Whey or the Highway

Flash Fiction Fridays: My Whey or the Highway

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Garrett Cook here. Ryan C Bradley is one of the most entertaining writers and performers I’ve ever met. His performances are lively, and his ear for language makes everything delectably readable. I’m glad I reached out to Ryan because he deserves all the ink he can get. My Whey or […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF The End of the War Between God and the Devil

Flash Fiction Fridays: The End of the War Between God and the Devil

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International takes on Bizarro always make me happy. Oddly enough, America is not the only place whose strangeness is destroying consensus reality as we know it. Ronaldo Lages comes out of Brazil and has for you a piece that feels grandiose while still being quiet and poetic. I quite like […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF Coming Attractions

Flash Fiction Fridays: Coming Attractions

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Garrett Cook here. I breathed a sigh of relief on this first week of open subs when I got someone I knew. Ben Arzate writes hip, transgressive plays and novellas influenced by Battaille and the like, along with stuff on Japanese noise bands you’ve never heard of. It’s a truly […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF Nazarene

Flash Fiction Fridays: Nazarene (First Published in All I Want Is to Take Shrooms and Listen to the Color of Nazi Screams)

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Garrett Cook here. I trust John Baltisberger with a lot of my boldest work. As a publisher, he has let me get away with depressing, gory, hardcore pornography and an RPG made to mock the gamemaster’s mom until they quit. Madness Heart has done a lot to reinvigorate the scene […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF Hellbound Goddess

Flash Fiction Fridays: Hellbound Goddess

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Luciana Centeno does work that is really hard to categorize, even for Bizarro. It seems on the surface like it’s dark fantasy until you look at the transgressive elements and the meditations on queer selfhood at the core of it. This piece and the novel whose world it comes from […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF The Game Closet

Flash Fiction Fridays: The Game Closet

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Shelly Lyons comes out of screenwriting. It’s a specific, draconian, and hard-to-develop skillset that can sometimes hamper writers trying their hand at fiction. Shelly has no such issue. She takes the scenemaking skills and the eyes of a screenwriter and brings that to fiction. Shelly is an impressive voice, and […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF Making Memories More Fun

Flash Fiction Fridays: Making Memories More Fun

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I have been working with Madeleine Swann for years. She has a gift for combining wonder, horror, and beauty into some of the most distinctive and unusual fiction you have ever read. A new piece from Madeleine is always a pleasure and one I am grateful to share. Making Memories […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF How to Be Boring

Flash Fiction Friday: How to Be Boring

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Garrett Cook here. I have known Michael Allen Rose since BizarroCon 2 where we found each other to be staunch defenders of each other’s pitches in the pitch workshop, which is notable because mine was otherwise universally disliked. He is now President of the Bizarro Writer’s Association as well as […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF False Hopes

Flash Fiction Friday: False Hopes

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Garrett Cook here. Yeah, that’s two fish people in a row. To quote Marge Simpson, “I just think they’re neat”. Matthew Gleason is also neat. Matthew has a gleeful nihilism, a strong hustle, and a passion for everything grotesque that makes them one to watch. False Hopes by Matthew J. […]

Flash-Fiction-Friday - FF This Household Believes in Science

Flash Fiction Friday: This Household Believes in Science

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Garrett Cook here. Writer, editor, Wonderland winner, Bizarro Showdown winner. Longtime Bizarro. Proud to be here, taking the reigns of Flash Fiction Friday. In the coming months, you’ll see handpicked stories from Bizarros old and new and weird folks in the periphery of the community. First up is an author […]

Flash Fiction Friday: Hello, Snööp

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By: Douglas Hackle The ’70 Plymouth Barracuda was already doing a steady 95 MPH down I-90, causing the ’cuda’s shotgun-riding passenger—a lamplighter by trade—to grip the dashboard with a white-knuckled hand, dig his shoes into the floor, and press his back hard into his seat, his forehead slick with terror-sweat. […]

Flash Fiction Friday: THE MAN WHO WENT TO WAR AND LOST HIS GUN BUT STILL COULD KILL WITH HIS BAYONET AND TOOK OUT A PLATOON BEFORE GETTING HIS DICK SHOT OFF AND STILL MANAGED TO FIGHT AND KILL AND MAIM UNTIL HE BUILT A ROBOT COCK AND FUCKED HITLER TO DEATH IN HIS BUNKER WHILE EVA BRAUN DIED OF FRIGHT AND THE POOR DOG GOT TO LIVE INSTEAD OF BEING KILLED AND HE TURNED HIS ROBOT COCK INTO A CHAINSAW LIKE ASH IN EVIL DEAD SO HE COULD DESTROY ZOMBIES WHO USED TO BE NAZI SOLDIERS WHO BECAME COMMUNISTS WHEN THEY DIED AND TRIED TO MARCH ON BRITAIN TO CONQUER CHURCHILL AND TURN HIM INTO A BOOZED-UP WEREWOLF BUT THE MAN REKILLED THEM AND WENT TO JAPAN WHERE HE KILLED HIS WAY THROUGH HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI AND THE US GOVERNMENT INVENTED ATOMIC BOMBS TO COVER UP THE HORRIBLE MASSACRES AND WHEN HE WON THE WAR HE WENT HOME AND TRIED NOT TO KILL ANYONE WITH HIS CHAINSAW DICK BUT FAILED MISERABLY AND HAD TO SERVE OUT A LIFE SENTENCE BUT HE KILLED EVERYONE IN PRISON SO THEY SENT HIM TO KOREA WHERE HE FOUGHT A T-REX AND BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH HIS BARE HANDS BUT THE COMMIES FROZE HIM IN CARBONITE AND BURIED HIM FOR DECADES UNTIL KIM JONG UN ACCIDENTALLY UNFROZE HIM AND THE MAN KILLED EVERYONE AND WENT HOME TO DISCOVER THE NEW PRESIDENT WAS A TRAITOR SO HE KILLED HIM AND EVERYONE AROUND HIM AND INSTALLED TOM HANKS AS PRESIDENT SO HE COULD RETIRE TO FLORIDA WHERE HE CLEANED THE STATE UP AND FED ALL THE ASSHOLES TO ALLIGATORS AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

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By: John Bruni The end. _____ John Bruni is the author of BLOOD, DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN and POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS. He lives in Elmhurst, IL, where he spends waaaaaaaay too much time thinking about weird shit for a guy who doesn’t smoke weed.

Flash Fiction Friday: Six Days and Endless Nights

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by: S.E. Casey It was during the limbo contest that I knew something was horribly wrong. I wasn’t being ageist in noting the winner was a sixty year old man. As the captain of the cruise ship, he certainly had a lifetime of practice. But when the bar was lowered […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: In My Younger and More Vulnerable Years, My Father Used to Take Me to the Strip Club and Make Me Hold Down Drunks While He Rolled Them for Empty TUMS Travel Containers and Raspberry Fruit Roll-Ups

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by: David S. Atkinson I spent the better part of the afternoon packaging up my excreta in cardboard boxes and clear packing tape again. It’s time consuming, but there isn’t a whole lot of choice. Given my particular situation, I have to dispose of it through the mail. A piece […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Iceberg

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by: JP Vallières We couldn’t get the iceberg to melt no matter how hard we tried: blow torch, bonfire, hairdryer, rubbing our butts back and forth to the song, That’s the Way (I Like It). I’m not into melting things usually, but there were some important items encased in that […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: The Drone Infant

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by: Zoltán Komor My wife wants a baby, but I’d prefer a remote control drone with HD Wi-Fi camera, so I figure out an intermediate solution: I’ll knock up my wife, let her give birth to the child, and after a couple of weeks, when she gets bored with this […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Y2K

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by: Sean Noah Noah Y2K came and went and pretty much everyone could agree that the world had ended, but nobody could figure out exactly how. Just days before, everything had seemed so certain: all the computers wouldn’t be able to change the dates correctly and they’d break down and […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: A Bag With Handles

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by: Bert Stanton All he wanted was a bag with handles. Just one large bag with two handles. Paper or plastic, didn’t matter. Big enough to fit the contents of the brown bag sitting on the checkout counter, almost filled to the top with enough food and assorted sundries to […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: The Friend We Made

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by: James Burr He danced in the dry ice, his limbs staccato-jerking in the strobes. He’d cleared a space for himself and was dancing on the spot, breathing heavily through his nose and mouth, his eyes glazed and staring blankly ahead. “I’m dancing, I’m dancing,” he kept repeating as he […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Job Offer on Seventh Heaven

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by: Martin Rutley It was late, Saturday night, when they brought me in. Strapped to a stretcher, disinfectant smeared into the corners of my eyes, the smell of petroleum in their greasy sideburns. Dressed in the green and gray of the company uniform, each of the six had joyously taken […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Enter the Salamander

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by: Neil Sanzari When the girl of malnourished complexion crossed paths with the ribbit in the ruins of Saint X’s Parochial Middle School, she refrained from drawing a single arrow. It was her first encounter with the dread creature. In fact, she had only heard the faintest of frightened whispers […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Vampire Swans Ate My Office Building

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by: Cornell R. Nichols When I got to work on Monday, 8 a.m. sharp, vampire swans were eating their way through my office building. Zipping around the corporate high-rise in a flock, a ballet, a whiteness, they have managed to strip away the concrete from all twenty regular and five […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Bushland

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by: Avichai Brautigam We mined the planet dead. Not in the sense that we burrowed, like dwarves, carving Morias and Morias into the crust till it all came apart; it was Bitcoin that did us in. Somewhere, in the moldy basement of some half-forgotten Department of the Bureau of the […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: MOM WANTS BOY TO GET NEW SLACKS FROM SEARS

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by: Christopher Lesko Mom: C’mon we need to get you some new slacks. They’ve got good deals going on at Sears right now. Boy: You’re hurting my arm. Mom: I need you to hold my hand when we cross. Could be a weed maniac zipping around the corner. People never […]