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Flash Fiction Friday: The Pub Fight

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by James Burr “You, sir, have spilled my pint!” All eyes in the pub turned at the sound of breaking glass, a pool of foaming ale rapidly spreading out at the feet of the furious Academic. The Professor eyed his accuser angrily. “And I contend that I did not spill […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: A Short Rumination On Things That Aren’t Really Food

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by Bert Stanton Totino’s Party Pizza is anything but a party or a pizza. It’s a square of questionable food stuffs; dough, cheese and meat in name only. The reality is ingredients manufactured in the basement of a North Korean sweatshop. At a dollar a pop, you really can’t expect […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Sleep is Dumb

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by Nathan W. Taynthoemer One sun-brewed Monday in July, there was a monkey. He was incredibly drunk. For no real reason at all, the monkey bellowed “Fuck you, God!” toward the heavens at an ear-bleeding volume. The monkey god didn’t take too kindly to this, so he summoned a plague […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: When the Thing Did

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by Goathead Buckley His ratman-hair overcoat let him live on the cold streets beneath the levitating, blue pyramid. The monstrosity had appeared one quiet afternoon to the north and steadily hovered closer until, by dinnertime, the entire city lay in its shadow. Humans threw themselves out of windows and into […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Cosmo’s Five Hot Sex Tips for Pleasing Your Tah-Lahki Overlord

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by Rick Sherman DO YOU. As one of many concubines you will want to stand out. The Tah-Lahki have no concept of masturbation. Diddling yourself creatively is a sure way to attract his/her attention and assure you of an extra ration to help put off starvation for another day. PULL […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Seeking Approval at the End of the World

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by John Wayne Comunale Kyle shut the window, closed the drapes, and made his decision. The ratings had been shit for years, despite it being the longest running show in history. He was the President of Television, and tough decisions like this were his responsibility. He was going to have […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: An Obscenely Pointless Story About Courtney Love

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by: Bob Durant Courtney Love tried to suck me off once. No joke. Five years ago, backstage at a Matchbox 20 concert, behind the speaker cases behind the sound booth. She dropped to her knees right there, started grabbing for my fun zone. She was sober, and it was weird. I […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: I Am Tigre de los Bravo

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by: Andrew Novak The people see me dance and they can’t believe. They compliment my wooden mask, its bright saffron and blackened stripes. They stare into my reflective eyes and touch my mouth lined with rotting teeth of creature. Only, it’s no mask. It’s my face. It’s real. And the people, […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: My World-Famous Christmastime Eggnog

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Editor’s note: In honor of the season and as a public service, we are departing from FFF’s usual narrative format to bring you this eggnog recipe. by Frank Edler It’s Christmastime again. A time of joy, love, warmth, giving and all that nonsense. What Christmastime really is all about is that […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Paying You For?

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by G. J. Hart A few moments after the bullet gathers up your heart and scarpers, Jennifer demands you play golf. You must refuse. You haven’t played in years, and your knees will seize like the shears buried that night the moon whistled and kicked the ground. As she swings […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: The Ghosts Live in the Walls

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by Nimrod Tzarking The walls are white, immense. A void. Gauzy specs wiggle in the air, wrinkles in the eye revealing flaws in the infinite, giving way to ghosts. The ghosts live in the electric. The electric lives in the walls. The walls are throbbing with crazed ectoplasm. How much […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Bum Knees

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By J. Peter W. “Dude, Are you getting up?” Alex asked, standing impatiently at the doorway. I looked at him and shrugged. “I can’t.” “What do you mean?” “It’s my knees. They quit on me.” I pulled back the blanket and revealed the blasted things. They both squinted in the […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Now You’re Trenchman

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By John Wayne Comunale Carrie peered through the curtains of her bedroom window. The man was still there. She didn’t know why she expected anything different, since he had been standing on the sidewalk across the street from her house for the last five days. Every time she looked out, […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: I Like Your Attitude

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by Ross Peterson The asphalt was hotter than the charcoal in Satan’s Weber. On the rumblestrip, gray fragments of Jared’s sundered brain crawled toward one another, reassembling. Little particles of him lay littered across the highway, speckled over the swath of brown roadside grass. Once his brain had put itself […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Gondwana Fragmenting

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by Nimrod Tzarking The furry morsels feast on our clutches. And we are dying. A star burns in the sky. Every day it hurtles closer. And we are dying. The continent shatters beneath our feet. Talons scrape at splintering fault lines. Ferns drift imperceptibly apart, gravel shifting between them. And […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: No Encore

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by D.M. Anderson Donald sneezed his brain all over the audience, his head emptying like an accordion until there was little left but a pancaked face sitting deflated atop a quivering neck. The deafening applause of the gore-splattered audience’s adoration thundered into a crescendo that would surely echo across the […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: The Short Unhappy Life of a Neon Bar Sign

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by Cornell R. Nichols Night 1Hanging. Glowing.Hanging. Glowing.Hanging. Glowing.Waiting for dawn. Night 2Hanging. Glowing.Hanging. Glowing.Hanging. Glowing.Attracting moths. Night 3Hanging. Glowing.The layer of dead moths caking my tubes has darkened one of my letters. It’s a complete disaster.I start to blink an S.O.S.I realize there is no O in the name […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Inaug(ment)(ir)ation Speech

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by Goathead Buckley Stow your remaining fingers, fleshmen! Keep them warm and full of blood! There is work to be done. The battle is won, yet the war is far from over. Even now as we celebrate with hoot whistles and drug liquor, the mechanical menace of the Cyberoboticists rebuilds […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Transmundane Prognostications Discerned From Astrological Phenomena

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by Tom Lucas, Metaphysical Dilettante The stars look down upon us and cast their judgment. What is their verdict for you? This can be determined by searching for your birthdate and sign below. Three-headed Wonder (March 1 – March 18): You are one with unsurpassed vision, but this gift has […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Tucked Deeply into the Pocket of Sleep’s Trousers

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by Matt Sunrich The fact is, most houses contain at least one monster. They usually live in attics and basements, proverbially enough, as these are among the least visited spaces in a residence. The larger the house, the better they like it, as there are bound to be great swaths […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: 2015 New Bizarro Authors, Pt. 3

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Here are some great excerpts of the last three NBAS books of 2015. King Space Void by Anthony Trevino(Buy It Now!) “What do you think, Dane?” The crew member’s face was a charcoal sketch, but Dane recognized the voice. It was Fattahipour from the morning crew. Odd, Dane thought to […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: 2015 New Bizarro Authors, Pt. 2

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The next three books to be featured from the 2015 NBAS are: Arachnophile by Betty Rocksteady (Buy It Now!) My neighbor dangled in front of me, her limbs working restlessly against a strand of web. Her legs arched and trembled as her eyes acknowledged me. I could see recognition in […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: 2015 New Bizarro Authors, Pt. 1

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For this week and the next two Flash Fiction Friday will exhibit excerpts of The New Bizarro Author Series for 2015. The doors exploded open, neon pinks, purples and blues bursting onto the streets and the skin of those waiting. The others cheered, but Tilli remained quietly determined. A rainbow […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: Legends of Cement

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by Alex S. Johnson Durwood peered down, his toes itching, the rash spreading across his choirboy features like the trail of a strawberry torch. He gasped. Grandpa was in the sidewalk once again. How did he get there? What perfidious psychopaths had made him stand still for the bucket, the […]

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Flash Fiction Friday: A Fit In Acts

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by Chris Meekings The curtain opens. The fairies in the audience rustle restless in their seats. They eat sticks of marzipan, noisily. Lights up. Enter an announcer. He’s dressed in a full black suit. His hair is immaculate and plastered down to his skull with soup. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he […]