Garrett Cook here. Alaina Hammond is dear to me; she is a friend from college who has become a sister to me, a vestige of family instrumental to rebuilding my life. She is smart, determined, funny, and as giving as a person can be. For years, I’ve been in a position to amplify her voice, but I do not want doubts in anyone’s mind that she comes by anything I’d give or take from her honestly. I’ve waited and watched her take her talents all over the place and become a juggernaut of creative growth. A philosopher, playwright, and scholar of Existentialism, she does a lot of work, but everything is branded with the indelible mark of that which is Alaina. I am overjoyed to bring you her work.
Second Unknown Number by Alaina Hammond
(Over text)
Unknown number: Hey Thera, this is Liza’s friend Avery. I’m with her now. She gave me your
number.
Me: That’s creepy, but whatever. I hope she’s doing better.
Unknown number: She’s not.
Me: I’m very sorry to hear that.
Unknown number: She picked a fight with you on purpose, so you wouldn’t feel as sad when she
died.
Me: OK, that was an abusive thing to do, and I don’t respond to abuse. I wish her well. Good
luck.
Unknown number: I’m going to tell her that you hate her.
Me: Wow. Jesus. Lying to your friend with cancer is a cruel thing to do. I do NOT hate her. If
you choose to tell her otherwise, that’s on you.
Unknown number: She needs clarity. She needs clear boundaries. She needs to know where she
stands. It’s better if she unambiguously believes that you hate her.
Me: Again, I cannot prevent you from lying to your friend. All I can say is that you’re
committing an act of cruelty by doing so.
Unknown number: But I’m not lying. You do hate her. You never visited her once when she was
in the hospital. You completely abandoned her.
Me: OK, listen “Avery.” You disappeared. I had no idea where you were. You didn’t tell me
which hospital you were at. Was I supposed to go knocking on every single hospital in
Manhattan, looking for you? You completely vanished. If anyone has a right to feel abandoned, I
do. I understand that you were sick. But you are not going to blame me for not visiting you,
when you DID NOT LET ME KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU. You ghosted me before my
wedding. You didn’t return my calls. Which I get. But. You do not get to guilt me while playing
the victim. You can hide behind a new number and a fake friend, but I will not allow myself to
be manipulated.
Unknown number: Oh my god, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I’d vanished. I have
no memory of you trying to contact me, but I believe you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
2
Me: Thank you. I hope you get all the help you need. Truly, Liza, I wish you all the health in the world.
Unknown number: Will you visit me now?
Me: No, I live in California.
Unknown number: Wait, what? When did that happen?
Me: A year ago.
Unknown number: Wow. And you really had a kid.
Me: I did.
Unknown number: I don’t believe you. Show me photos.
Me: They’re all over Facebook.
Unknown number: I no longer have access to Facebook.
Me: Liza, I have to go. And I’m blocking this number as well. Best of luck, with all of it, truly.
(Over text)
Unknown number 2: Hey, sorry about that.
Me: Liza, how many numbers do you have?
Unknown number 2: Well, what am I supposed to do when you keep blocking me? That’s a really
bad look, you know. Blocking your friend with cancer. Imagine if I took screenshots and shared
them with all our mutuals.
Me: I wish you well, but I will not subject myself to insults, threats, and abuse.
Unknown number 2: What are you talking about? Who hurt you? You sound paranoid.
Me: Apparently, the drugs and the cancer have not dulled your ability to gaslight.
Unknown number 2: Did you know that the cancer makes my skin bleed?
Me: You should call 911.
3
Unknown number 2: And tell them what, that Liza’s dead?
Me: You’re referring to yourself in the third person again, so clearly you need medical help.
Unknown number 2: No, seriously, Liza’s dead. I killed her an hour ago to put her out of her
misery. It was much quicker that way.
Me: Please let this be the last time I have to block you tonight. Please don’t come at me with yet
a third anonymous number. Please seek help.
(Over Messenger)
NuLiza: Hello, Thera. This is a new Facebook account. I lost access to my old one. I hear my
friend Avery’s been harassing you, and I’m really sorry about that.
Me: I don’t know what’s going on, but I wish you the best. Please don’t ever contact me again.
NuLiza: There was so much blood when Avery killed me.
Me: I’m taking screenshots and will show them to the police if it comes to that. Goodbye.
(Over Messenger)
Katie: OMG, did you hear?? Liza’s dead!
Me: Right. How do I know you, again?
Katie: I’m Katie. We met at Liza’s birthday party, I think. Anyway, Liza’s dead.
Me: And you decided to contact me to tell me that, despite the fact that we’re not Facebook
friends.
Katie: Well, you were her best friend, weren’t you? She talked about you all the time. I can’t
believe she’s dead!
Me: Very tragic, if true. Based on what evidence, if any, have you come to the conclusion that
she’s dead?
Katie: You sound like a robot lol
Me: I’m very tired. Why do you say she’s dead?
Katie: What do you mean? It’s all over Facebook. Like ten people have written on her wall that
they miss her and they’re sorry.
4
Me: Ten actual people, or ten fake profiles that Liza herself created?
Katie: What are you saying, Thera? Are you saying that all our mutual friends are just puppets?
That no one’s real but Liza herself? That the rest of us are just figments of her imagination?
Because that makes you sound crazy, Thera.
Me: I wasn’t saying that, and whatever game you’re playing isn’t funny. I guess I have to block
you, too. “Katie.”
Katie: God, you’re such a selfish snowflake. Our friend died and you make it all about you.
(Katie is typing)
Me: (Block)
(Over text)
Liza: Forgive me.
Me: How the fuck did you unblock yourself?? You should NOT be able to contact me from your
original phone number!
Liza: I have friends. I’m friends with the bots. All of them. I’m friends with the ghosts that live
in your phone. I’m a powerful witch and you’ve pissed me off. Do you hear that beeping? That’s
me lol.
Me: Oh my God.
Me: Who are you??
Alaina Hammond is a poet, playwright, fiction writer, and visual artist. Her poems, plays, short stories, philosophical essays, creative non-fiction, paintings, drawings, and photographs have been published both online and in print. Her novelette “Jillian, Formerly Known as Frog Girl” was published by Bottlecap Press. Over fifty of Alaina’s original plays have been produced off-off Broadway. As a playwright, she’s probably proudest of Goth Principal. For her role as Inez in No Exit, she was nominated for a BroadwayWorld Off-Broadway Award (Best Performance, Off-Off Broadway). She holds a BA from Marlboro College and an MA from Columbia University. She lives in California with her husband and son. @alainaheidelberger on Instagram.
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