International takes on Bizarro always make me happy. Oddly enough, America is not the only place whose strangeness is destroying consensus reality as we know it. Ronaldo Lages comes out of Brazil and has for you a piece that feels grandiose while still being quiet and poetic. I quite like it. Watch for Ronaldo.
The End of the War Between God and the Devil
by Ronaldo Lages
No one had quite understood why Jesus had decided to make his return in the city of Tokyo, with its illuminated signs and crowded sidewalks. Theologians swore that the parousia would take place somewhere else — Bethlehem or somewhere in Egypt. That was a surprise in itself.
His clothing was the same and followed the fashion of two thousand years ago; the old red cloak, almost pumpkin-colored, and the green tunic gave him the authenticity immortalized by thousands of painters throughout the history of art.
The wounds were still very much alive, the punctures in his hands and feet were astonishing, and his long, blond hair was intact, making everyone wonder if shampoo and conditioner existed in the other world. On his forehead was the crown of thorns that had been given to him by his enemies during his first stay here, but it didn’t seem to cause the slightest discomfort. A mere adornment, perhaps.
In addition to the geographically exotic return, despite Japan’s growing number of followers of Christianity, what really caught everyone’s attention was that the Savior was fifty meters (164 feet) tall. Speaking of feet, his careful walk made a huge noise as he walked along the city’s ultramodern avenues, very different from the times of fasting in the desert. He was ready to face Godzilla, Nacional Kid, or Jaspion, but none of them existed in real life, only in TV series. All atheism had fallen by the wayside, even Richard Dawkins had announced his baptism in a church in the English countryside, Woody Allen was preparing a comedy and a religious conversion, while Satanists abandoned the opposition. There would no longer be a need for the clash between faith and reason; the two could once again walk together without any more heated debates. It was the end of the war between God and the Devil. The press had been following him closely since his return, waiting for a statement, a wise word, a gesture, but the man’s silence was beginning to disturb them. It was only natural that it should happen; after all, they would have all eternity to listen to him.
Meanwhile, the Son of God seemed to be enjoying himself, poking the tip of his index finger at the top of the Nakagin Capsule Tower Building, observing the intelligent design of the Audi Forum, and observing the windows of Tokyo City Hall, without paying much attention to his little brothers.
He behaved like a true tourist of the skies and skyscrapers.
The population looked up, mesmerized, realizing that the Day of Judgment had arrived, convinced that the doubts about what was the true religion of humanity had been answered, better still, without the need for wars or suffering. If it weren’t for a sudden detail, without any concern for the local architecture, the Lord had begun to trample people as if they were cockroaches.
Before being crushed, the citizens, who looked more like little ants, were carried away, not by divine light, but by the giant sole of the largest sandal in the world…
Ronaldo Lages is Brazilian and graduated in journalism. He has participated in several anthologies of short stories and in literature he seeks to follow the iconoclastic path of Bataille, Apolinnaire, Sade, and Bukowski, although he believes that they are more horizons than paths. He enjoys venturing into bizarre fiction.
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