I owe a LOT to Mr Frank.
Have you ever seen that movie, The Snowman? Not the Michael Fassbender one. The animated one. The one where the snowman grab’s that kid’s hand and they fly away and the snowman shows the kid all this wonderful stuff.
Mr Frank is my snowman.
With his magical Bizzong podcast, he grabbed my hand and flew me away and revealed to me the wonders of bizarro fiction.
I wouldn’t be as big a fan of bizarro as I am without him. And so it’s a great honour to have him drop his pants and bare-all.
WHO – I’m the guy from Bizzong! The Weird and Wacky Fiction Podcast. Also, I write and shit.
WHAT – What are you, a light bulb? Get it? Get it! Because you said What but I made like I thought you said Watt like watts in a lightbulb. My middle school math teacher used that one all the time. Gosh, he was so clever. I hated him. I wrote a computer game about him in BASIC. It was fun, I made it so you could shave a Teddy Ruxpin bear and put the fuzzies on his head to cover up his bald noggin. His name was Mr. Demskis. I’d wager he is dead now. I don’t think he would have enjoyed my computer game.
WHERE – I got no terrible dad jokes for this one. I find myself whereing in New Jersey often. No jokes please. Yes, it does smell along certain stretches of the Turnpike. No, we don’t say Joisey. Yes, we do eat pork roll. No, I don’t know Snookie. Yes, we’re all rude and impatient. Fuck you, next.
NOTABLE WORK – I haven’t written anything notable, most notably BRATS IN HELL.
WHAT DO YOU WRITE WITH – Is this a sex joke? It sounds like a sex joke.
ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR MIND – Blottoed
CAN WE SEE A PICTURE OF WHERE YOU WRITE – I write all over the place: my bed, Panera, the basement, the dining room. So, how about a picture of the Bizzong studio and a picture of the lid to the container I lug my book around to signings and cons…
WHAT WAS YOUR INTRODUCTION TO BIZARRO – I unwittingly stumbled into Bizarro by reading Robert Devereaux’s BABY’S FIRST BOOK OF SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP SHIT. It was a Deadite Press book but, boy-howdy, did it have some seriously bizarro stories in it. I had to find out more about what that stuff was. The rest is history.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BIZARRO-ADJACENT MOVIE OR BOOK – I’d have to go with The Greasy Strangler. Honorable mentions to Kung Pow, Kuso and Big Man Japan.
HOW DO YOU RECHARGE – Grab a six pack and throw some Magic:The Gathering with friends. Really refocuses the chi.
WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS – Justin Grimbol would make this shit entertaining as all get out.
I can’t remember if the snowman ever returned the kid in the movie.
I can tell that I don’t ever want THIS snowman to take THIS kid home… ever again. I’m having too much fun floating through the skies, finding new bizarro wonders on every horizon.
Thanks for everything you do, Mr Frank.
How I Weird is a series of mini-interviews conducted by Luke Kondor, looking to celebrate the bizarro genre and the people who work in it. If you would like to be featured, then drop him (me) a line on Twitter at @Lukeofkondor.
Check out more of his nonsense at www.lukekondor.com.