Featured-Images - Featured-News
by Tracy Vanity

Gollums, Neverending Story dragon-slaying, alien sightings, cannibalism, and yet another step towards the robot apocalypse. It’s time for a Bizarro News Roundup kids! Yee-haw!

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While on vacation, a Chinese tourist happened across a golum-like creature while taking a piss. News reports say the creature resembles Gollum from Lord of the Rings, but I think it looks more like something from Pan’s Labyrinth. What do you think?

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UFO sighting in Montana:

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Proof in the pudding

Peanut, the winner of the 2014 World’s Ugliest Dog contest is cute in a demonic, bowel-ripping way. No, he’s adorable and the contest raises awareness on the importance of adoption. Congrats Peanut! He should be the Bizarro mascot!

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Peanut
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  • Adelaide man Guy Albon, who had his four guns confiscated due to fears over his ‘mental competency’ brought about by him wearing a colander on his head in his gun licence photo, has been given the all clear after he insisted the utensil was crucial to his religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Source
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In robot apocalypse news, Japan has unveiled a new robot newscaster among other android prototypes who will plot to destroy all humans in due time! Even with the uncanny valley shit going on, robot technology is finally reaching our Asimov expectations.

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Last but certainly not least, in the most devastating news in all of the history of Bizarro News, Falkor has been found and shot dead in Malaysia.

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Why anyone would kill a flying luck dragon who goes after school bullies is beyond me. My thoughts are with everyone in Fantasia. This is a sad day indeed.

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Credit to @CassandraRules for the above pic and for breaking the news and my childhood. Never forget…

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